Can I bring a typewriter?
No.
Can I talk?
No.
Why can’t I bring a typewriter?
Once upon a time in a galaxy far far away, No Typewriters / No Talking founder Jackson worked in a co-working space. One of the co-working space inhabitants would regularly bring in a typewriter and clack clack clack away incessantly, twirling his pompous little moustache he only grew so people would talk to him about his moustache. To say the clack clack clack weighed on Jackson’s soul, tormenting him, reducing his already fragile mental health to tatters, and resulted in what the police would later refer to as an “explosive outburst” is to undersell the story.
It’s an arbitrary rule. Deal with it.
What happens if I bring a typewriter?
It might get defenestrated. See this artist’s impression of a typewriter being defenestrated.
What constitutes a typewriter?
Look, if you’re even asking that question just don’t bring whatever it is you’re thinking about bringing.
Mechanical keyboards?
Ugh. Stop. No. Laptops are fine but your big nerdy RGB LED-backlit mechanical keyboards with brown Gateron G Pro Switches can stay at home too please.
Why can’t I talk?
If you want to talk, there are plenty of other places you can talk. You can talk any time before or after the session. We want you to write, not talk.
What happens if I talk?
You’ll be politely asked to STFU.
What happens if I keep on talking?
You’ll be impolitely asked to STFU and potentially defenestrated.
Can I talk after?
Yeah, sure. Why not!
Do I have to talk to anyone at all?
No. It’s perfectly fine to come in, sit down, start writing, realise what you’re writing is complete cactus, push through, write some more, think to yourself “actually, that’s pretty okay”, look up, realise there’s only 5 more minutes of silent writing time left, scribble a few cursory notes to yourself, and then leave. All without saying a peep.
When is your next session?
We are aiming to run these monthly. Sign up below to be the first to know when the next one will be.
Where do you hold your sessions?
We host sessions in Melbourne, Australia in conjunction with our dear friends
- Tempo Rubato in Brunswick, and
- West Space in Collingwood.
Will you hold sessions anywhere else?
We might! Let us know where you’d like to see a No Typewriters / No Talking pop up and we’ll see if we can wrangle something.
Can I do something other than write words?
We’ve always maintained there are only two rules, and they’re in the name. So, if you want to do something other than write during a session — draw a thing, think about stuff, or just twiddle your thumbs — and you’re not being a dickhead (see below), then shoot… why not?
Just don’t bring a gosh darn typewriter (or talk) and we’ll be cool.
How many rules does No Typewriters / No Talking have?
There are only two rules, they’re in the name.
If you had to make a third rule, what would it be?
We’d like to think this is a general rule everyone should adhere to, but since you asked: No dickheads. (And maybe no eating. No one wants to listen to you crunching away on chips or smell your tuna salad, bro).
Is No Typewriters / No Talking an inclusive space?
Heck yeah we are. Everyone is welcome.
(Except racists, sexists, transphobes, bigots, etc. They’re not welcome because they make other people unwelcome. If you’re any of the above you can go write somewhere else, preferably far far away.)
How much do you charge for the sessions?
Tickets cost $9 (plus Humanitix fees). This ensures we can keep running sessions and grow No Typewriters / No Talking. Also, we realise not everyone can afford this, we are writers after all. If you’d like to come along but cost is a barrier, please reach out.
How can I contact you?
You can send us an message here or ping us a message on Instagram or, even better, sign up below and we’ll contact you.
Do you acknowledge Country?
Bloody oath we do. No Typewriters / No Talking acknowledges the Wurundjeri Woi Wurrung as the Traditional Owners of the unceded surrounds of Naarm/Melbourne where we live and work as well as all the other mobs on this ancient island. We pay our respects and gratitude to their elders — past, present, and emerging — acknowledging their sacred bonds to this land remain unbroken. We thank them for caring for, nurturing and welcoming us on their country. Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land.
Can I sign up for some kind of newsletter?
Go on then: